Learning from my Kids

The past three days have been wonderful, and I have felt perfectly healthy. After this new chemo, it’s almost like being under water for about a week, and then I come up a little into a very dense fog. Finally, on about day 11 or 12, I pop out into the sunshine and clear air, and the chemo haze is gone and forgotten. So I’m facing today’s chemo with the confidence that no matter what it does to me, I WILL pop back out of it and enjoy a few very good days before the next treatment two weeks from now.

A couple of weeks ago, Lisa called to say that she was finding encouragement in this quote: “If I’d known then what I know now, I’d have relaxed and enjoyed the experience.” She asked, “Do you know who said that?” Well, I replied, I said it myself after surviving my tumultuous tumble in the turbulence of Lava Falls in the Grand Canyon. “Precisely,” she said, “those are your words.” So this week, no matter how far under water I go, I’m going to remember that I know I’ll come back up; I think I can find things to enjoy, or at least be fascinated by, even during the darkest days. That’s my plan, by God’s grace. The philosophy also works long-term. One day I’ll be looking back on these days from the viewing platform of heaven, and I think I’ll say the same thing: If I’d known then what I know now, I’d have enjoyed the journey.

Lisa’s church has the most wonderful custom. After the benediction, almost everyone sits down to enjoy the postlude. Yesterday’s was “In dir ist Freude” (In Thee Is Joy) by J.S. Bach. What a great way to honor the excellence of the organist and at the same time fill one’s heart with beautiful music that echoes all afternoon. And now may I pass along the first stanza of the opening hymn (by Abbot’s Leigh).

Lord, you give the great commission
“Heal the sick and preach the word.”
Lest the Church neglect its mission
And the Gospel go unheard,
Help us witness to your purpose
With renewed integrity,
With the Spirit’s gifts empower us
For the work of ministry.

And the Communion Chant:
“Take, O take me as I am;
Summon out what I shall be,
Set your seal upon my heart and live in me.”

Thanks for praying for me as I receive another chemo, and then continue via the pump for three days. This afternoon, I have a follow-up appointment with my surgeon. It will be helpful to discuss my recent CAT scan with him.

Still learning,
Carol