Lookin' Good

I've always hated being overweight--despised the lack of self-respect and self-discipline that allowed me to get out of shape. So it always surprises me that people repeatedly say, "You're looking so good." I suppose people with cancer often waste and shrivel, so their faces look ill. So my extra weight probably prevents that effect. For what it's worth to you whom I don't get to see, please know that folks say I'm looking good . . . whatever that means.

I'm even more concerned about the temptation to "look good" spiritually and emotionally, whether true or not. On a journey like this one, I must hold tight to God no matter what. But I have to admit that I don't always feel close to him, nor do I always feel sweet and joyful. C S Lewis said, in Screwtape Letters, that "troughs" are a normal human condition, and that God (whom Screwtape called "the enemy above") takes some sort of delight when humans in a deep slump continue to hold on to him. I take comfort from that. I really do want to delight God, regardless of the ebb and flow of my own soul.

I slept much better last night. (I think one of the anti-nausea pills causes restlessness after a few days; I'd also had a fairly sleepless night two weeks ago after chemo.) I accomplished a good day's work yesterday, and I have good hope of meeting both deadlines (magazine and annual prayer guide pages) next week. I find that I have to concentrate harder; chemo brain, I suppose.

I'll never be able to adequately thank you for your prayer support and all your encouragement. Blessings for your day,
Carol