Learning Patience

God gave us a safe trip home yesterday, and I think both our bodies handled the long trip well. As for our hearts, we collected enough hugs and happy memories to sustain us until next time.

After unloading the car last evening, I stepped into the back garden. I was disappointed to see that the flowers I'd planted still look about the same as when we left a week ago. Shouldn't they have grown more luxuriant by now? Then this morning as I was waking up slowly, I became aware of the same feelings of disappointment and impatience. I'm tired of getting tired so easily. The chemo causes neuropathy (tingling and numbness) which makes my fingers clumsy. It also induces edema (fluid retention) in my feet and legs, which requires me to sit with my feet elevated when I'd rather be up and "doing something." Yesterday was four months after my surgery. My impatient and immature heart cries, "Shouldn't I be feeling 'normal' by now?"

I think the two cases are related. It takes time for a garden to grow. And it usually takes time for God to answer prayer. The Bible says, "You have need of patience," and I raise my right hand and reply, "Guilty as charged." I do have need of patience.

I'm grateful for all the gifts of grace that have come through this disease, and I want to continue to grow up through it.

Today and tomorrow I need the gift of concentration, as I must organize the content of the next magazine for SIM before next Monday's chemo again takes me out of commission for several days. It's coming together well, and will still require more than a month's work before it's ready to submit to the designer, but these next two days are crucial to the work flow.

I'm so thankful for your love, interest and prayers.

Carol