Still Learning

Last evening we went to a cancer support group because my oncologist was the featured speaker. His topic was "New Developments in Cancer Treatment," and as I expected, he had nothing to report about new treatment for ovarian cancer. But his talk was interesting, and I learned something. I could get genetic testing, and if I turn out to be among the 50% of women who get ovarian cancer but don't have the genetic marker for it (BRCA1 or BRCA2, I think), then our daughters could assume that it doesn't "run in the family." The other possible outcome would, of course, create a dilemma for each of them, wouldn't it?

Another member of my Moody graduating class has sent a couple of helpful emails. I’d like to pass along his list of 10 ways to appreciate and make use of the spiritual resources available during a terminal illness. (Note: If I hear that a friend has been diagnosed “terminal,” I probably wouldn’t send this list, because one never knows when’s a good time to talk about it. So hang on to it if you think it’s useful.)

1. Recognize and accept that terminal grief normally moves from shock, disbelief, and denial through bargaining and depression to acceptance and peace.

2. Terminal illness forces us to face the reality of what has always been inevitable.

3. Recognize the healthful and helpful therapy of tears.

4. Understand that your illness may be forcing your family and friends to confront their own mortality, causing them to express high levels of fear and uncertainty.

5. Discover spiritual resources and reserves that help you discover new richness and fullness in your “terminal” life.

6. Enlist the support of a few trusted friends to walk with you through this journey.

7. “Terminal time” is time for getting your house in order. Reconcile with God, family, “enemies,” and your unfulfilled dreams.

8. Define your wishes for the stuff you’re leaving behind.

9. Practicing the presence of God in your “terminal time” will give spiritual resources to meet your physical needs.

10. Expect bad days or hours when your peaceful acceptance swings away to anxiety. Talk about it with those you trust, and wait patiently for it to pass.

These days I’m functioning so well that I’m not consciously calling myself “terminal.” But even if God gives me 20 more years, these 10 principles work for everyday life as well.

Today we are driving to Greenville, SC, for lunch and hugs with friends from Michigan. Oh! Friends are treasures!

Blessings,
Carol