Good news . . . Bad news

A package came while I was at home for a few minutes at midday yesterday. Little did the sender guess how much it would mean to me right then!

She and I used to work together leading worship and singing for large women’s retreats. Those days are now only happy memories, but our friendship continues, and she prays faithfully for me. She sent a silver necklace with a runner pendant, accompanied by a poem and this personal note: “My sweet friend, as soon as I read this poem and saw the pendant, I knew you should have them. I’m running with you, and crying with you, and believing with you.” Now the poem:

Overcomer
Lord, You know i’m pushing on to run this race
fix my eyes on You in everything i face
even when my feelings say it isn’t so
Your Truth that beats inside my heart
won’t let me go
with every step of faith You strengthen me
along every mile of trust You’re remaking me
‘tho a trail of tears marks the path that i’ve come
until in Your arms i’ll continue to run
(Hebrews 12:1-22, 2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

Now the reason why it’s so meaningful. I had a routine follow-up appointment yesterday with my surgeon, and for the first time in two years he now feels tumors developing. He is ordering a C-T scan, and then we’ll see what the next steps should be. I’m disappointed; I really love life. And perplexed; what more could I have done? And confident: I’m still where I’ve always been—safe in God’s hands. He can heal at any stage in the progression of cancer. He can do whatever He knows is best. That’s enough to keep me sleeping well at night, and seizing life every day. (But right now I find I’m not able to read books or articles by survivors of early-stage highly curable cancers; they’re just too “heroic” and chipper.)

Today we’ll be driving all day to south Florida. I’ll try to keep in touch through the weekend. I guess I don’t need to say how much I value your prayers right now with this news.

Love,
Carol