I Didn't Think It Would Be this Long

A year ago, setting out on this kemo adventure, I carefully avoided making demands or expressing expectations. But now I realize that I didn't think it would be this long. I thought God would grant me a remission in four or five months, and beyond that I didn't even think. Now that it hasn't happened, I realize clearly that I did have expectations. And it's just plain getting old, isn't it? I am amazed that you're still with me! I really do believe that every day is a miracle, an answer to our prayers, and that God is as able now as he was a year ago to completely heal me or to grant a remission. But still, it's getting long. Last evening I made the mistake of reading a magazine, "Cure: Cancer Updates, Research & Education," that had come in the mail. Cancer articles never even mention ovarian cancer, and reading about other cures is not personally encouraging. So here we are!

As I gulped my handful of pills this morning, I read aloud three faith-building Bible verses. The best thing I can do right now is quote them here:

Psalm 91:9-11
If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your dwelling.

Psalm 6:4,5
Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love. No one remembers you when he is dead. Who praises you from the grave?

Psalm 91:14-16
The Lord says, "I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue them and honor them. I will satisfy them with a long life and give them my salvation."

It seems timely that Sunday's reading in 31 Days of Praise was centered on the Bible--praising God for recording some of his thoughts and making them available to us. It's time to say again that God's Word is our ultimate source of truth, and it's wonderful.

Our friend with kidney failure didn't get good news yesterday; the doctor found no blockage, which could have been remedied. Now, it appears, she will need to get into dialysis quickly, and get her name on the transplant list. It will take many people to pick up the deeds of mercy that she was doing, as most likely she won't have time or energy to continue as she was. Please pray for her.

Thanks for your enduring interest and prayers.

Love,
Carol