Tired but Thankful

Chemo #50 is now history, and as usual Carol is very tired yet this morning. The Oncologist was pleased with the slowing down of the antigen level climb, so he proceeded with another round of Cisplatin. We are thankful that so far, there have not been any other nasty side effects.

As I awoke one night recently, the 23rd Psalm came to my mind, specifically verse 4 “…Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.” As I visualized walking through a dark unknown valley, my mind jumped to a trip down the Colorado River that we took several years ago when deep into the canyon, our raft upset while going over Lava Falls, and immediately we were spinning down, down into complete darkness below the water's surface. After a few moments, which seemed like an eternity, suddenly the turbulence turned to a deathly stillness and soon I was aware of my life jacket lifting me back to the surface. Never before have I been so thrilled to see a small shaft of light penetrating the darkness, and then I bobbed to the surface.

Psalm 27 says “Light, space, zest—that’s God! So, with him on my side I’m fearless, afraid of no one and nothing.” (The Message). There are times when feelings of fear creep into my mind, especially at night, similar to those deep in the dark waters of Lava Falls, but then that “shaft of light” comes to mind as a verse or a note of encouragement from one of you pops to the forefront of my thoughts. I also find that there are times when that response is not automatic, and I intentionally have to force my mind away from the darkness of fear, to the Light that the Psalmist reminds us is always available.

Lord, as we walk through the valleys together, help us to keep our eyes on your light and not the darkness of the moment. After all, this is not our home, only a time of learning and preparation for that day when we join you for REAL life in our eternal home.

Our love to you all,

Chuck…and Carol too