You amaze me!

I'm amazed that you're still checking this site. In the 4+ months since we began this journey through cancer, you've surely heard of dozens of other urgent prayer needs, and I wouldn't blame you a bit if you redirected your attention to the newer matters. Please know how deeply grateful I am for your love and prayers. You are a gift of grace to me!

This morning as I sat down in my little office with my Bible and journal, I wrote, "I'm depressed. Why? Why not?" Then I proceeded with a head-to-foot litany of pesky problems caused by the chemo. The worst, surely, is fatigue. Every morning my goal is to live fully the day that's been given to me. But, I whined, I don't have enough energy for that; I don't even have energy for the essential tasks of my job and my house work. Then I noticed that my journal's bookmark was at October 30, 2005. On a whim, I looked back and began to read. I discovered that for the entire month prior to my cancer diagnosis, God had been preparing me for it by an intensive course in His characteristics: His graciousness, His mercy, His faithfulness, His justice. (Yes, my study was guided by assignments from our Sunday School teacher.) A half hour's reading brought my compass needle back to "true north," and the depression lifted. I'd had my focus in the wrong place.

Lots of trivial stuff has piled up here and there, and I'd like to clear it away before another chemo on Monday. I intend to "live fully" today, even in the midst of mundane tasks. I read Acts 2 this morning, and was struck by the joy Christ's followers experienced. Why not!

Love,
Carol