Weakness

I don't like weakness and I don't want to be weak. Yesterday I took a morning nap and then felt I was strong enough to go to work. I shouldn't have done it. I stayed only two hours, but came home totally wilted. Dear Chuck had to prepare his own dinner for the first time in months. I need to learn patience and the grace to live with weakness.

I think today will be better, now that the third day since chemo is past.

A friend sent a beautiful leather-bound collection of Puritan prayers titled The Valley of Vision, edited by Arthur Bennett, Canon of St Albans Cathedral in England. I've taken the liberty of changing "thee" to "you," with apologies to Mr. Bennett, and would like to share a prayer with you here.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter Your stars shine;
Let me find Your light in my darkness,
Your life in my death,
Your joy in my sorrow,
Your grace in my sin,
Your riches in my poverty
Your glory in my valley.

That's what I need today.

Love,
Carol