Tune my Heart

Yesterday some events and people disappointed me. Naturally (emphasis on "naturally") my attitude turned sour. That's not good. Nurse daughter Sue assures me that cancer and other diseases feed on negative feelings. This morning as I was awaking, one line from a hymn was ringing in my head: "Tune my heart to sing Your grace." (I'm singing it now, as I type.) I find it hard at times to tune my own heart; it likes to trend down any old natural melody, even if it's melancholy. So I'm making that hymn my prayer for all day today: "Tune my heart to sing Your grace."

I'm as eager as you are for the CA 125 results. I called the doctor's nurse twice yesterday afternoon, but didn't get a return call. I assume the results weren't back from the lab. I hope to hear today.

A miracle happened yesterday. A black swallowtail butterfly emerged from what had looked like a failed chrysalis. Several times each summer, a swallowtail will lay eggs on my parsley plants. As soon as I can see the larva, I bring them inside and keep them well fed with parsley. (If I leave them outside, birds like to snatch them--which interrupts the butterfly population.) Sadly, I bumped the vase as one of the larva was in the process of attaching itself to a stick, and it fell to the bottom, helpless. I felt terrible! After a couple of days, I glued its tail to a stick and used 1/3 inch of string to dangle its top side away from the stick as they naturally do. It remained bright green, never turning papery brown like the others. When we left for Washington DC, I entrusted the chrysalises to my darling neighbor boys (the same ones who pray for me when they see a UPS/Urgent Prayer Support truck). Yesterday morning their mother called me with the exciting news: the first butterfly, the one in the still-green chrysalis, had emerged. Beautiful. All the more so because it had seemed doomed.

I feel strong enough to put in full days at work and take care of necessary tasks at home. Thank the Lord. But a collection of chemo side effects reminds me of how wonderful it will be when we can stop that therapy.

My sister is flying in this evening to be with us for the weekend. I am so looking forward to this time together.

Singing grace,
Carol