Life

God gave us a safe and pleasant trip home yesterday. We arrived home with energy and time to spare, so we got all unpacked and I prepared meals for the next two or three days since I don’t expect to feel like cooking for awhile after kemo. This will be #13. What a way to celebrate the 47th anniversary of our marriage on September 5! Actually, being alive and together is a big reason to celebrate.

I’m excited to see how God will answer my prayer for mental and spiritual energy to read, listen to music, and use the next few days of enforced stillness for drawing closer to Him.

I’m captivated by Eugene Peterson’s Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places, the book I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. Today I read his stunning thoughts on St. John’s account of Christ’s life. One of the key aspects of this gospel is the story of Jesus’ “signs” (that is, miracles). You would think that after such spectacular demonstrations of His God-powers, the whole world would have believed Him and followed Him. But they didn’t. In fact, it was in connection with the “sign” of creating thousands of meals out of one small boy’s lunch that the text says, “After that, many of His followers went away and didn’t travel with Him anymore.”

I have a personal investment in this line of thinking. Sometimes people say that if God heals me (a miracle, in view of the medical predictions), it would build people’s faith in Him. I doubt it. People who have already decided not to believe in Him will probably continue in their unbelief no matter what. And people who are already trusting Him don’t need further proof, but I’m sure they’ll join us in thanking God for whatever He chooses to do. In other words, this cancer isn’t about me at all. Instead, it’s a platform on which God can demonstrate His extreme wisdom, goodness and worthiness—however long He keeps me here in this life. Right now I’m feeling so well that it would be easy to presume that I am fully well. I still pray--and I ask you to pray--that God will drive out every cancer cell in my body. But I don't want us to think He owes us anything, or that we can cut a deal with Him. He gets to choose! I’m thankful for every gift of a good day, and my prayer continues to be that I will fully live each day that I get.

Thanks for all your care and prayers.

Carol