You Raise Me Up

I've been in a deep pit of fatigue (probably the anemia). Since Monday evening, I've hardly left the bed except for my scheduled 3-month check-up with the surgeon. (He says everything looks great.) So I was in the mood to complain, but as I was waking up this morning, the Selah song, "You Raise Me Up," came to my mind, and I thought I'd quote that instead. (I know I've done that before, but it was months ago.)

When I am down, and oh, my soul, so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then I am still and wait here in the silence
Until You come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
And I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be.

I think I'm better this morning and I'll probably stay up awhile. Maybe all day.

I've been thinking there are three basic ways to face a life-threatening disease.

First, medicine. If the patient doesn't survive, we blame medicine. The researchers haven't paid enough attention to ovarian cancer, for example, so they don't have proven treatments for it.

Second, diet and supplements. If the patient doesn't survive, we blame the patient. She didn't choose the right supplements, or she wasn't faithful enough in taking them, or she didn't follow the right diet or she cheated too much.

Third (and best), faith. If the patient doesn't survive, we blame the patient. She dared to speak words like "if" and "maybe," and thereby broke the spell of healing. Or she didn't claim the right Bible verse. This is extreme, I realize, but I think sometimes we get sloppy in our thinking about God, and we admit magical thinking into the mix. He isn't a magician. He is the sovereign Creator and all-wise Lover. What He chooses is always best, and it's not a magic spell that the patient can ruin by what she says.

As you know, my first and best hope is God. I'm also receiving the best medical care available, and taking in the food and supplements that seem most likely to support the first two. And "if" I don't make it, we will not blame either God or me or doctors, but will rather accept the decision of the One who truly does know best. How can we be so presumptuous as to refuse to say, "Thy will be done"? Meanwhile, every day I experience wonderful answers to your loving prayers. Thank you.

Love,
Carol

My thoughts don't travel this way very often, but since I've decided to publish an honest record of my journey through cancer, I thought I'd include this.