Clear Facts, Mysterious Meaning

This year I'm reading a Chronological Bible. The editors rearranged the content so that the reader encounters events in the order they occurred, regardless which book of the Bible they're recorded in. No one knows for sure when Job lived, but it's likely that he is part of very early history, so I'm reading that heart-stopping story now--right after Genesis.

"Job's comforters" are well known metaphors for blaming the victim. It's easy to write them off as stupid, prejudiced, and wrong. But, you know, they were brilliant, full of common sense, and observant. Everything they said has the ring of truth. Still, they totally missed the point; and besides making their friend's life even more wretched by insisting that his guilt had caused his trouble, they angered God with their arrogant conclusions. Takeaway lesson for me: let God speak for himself. Where he expresses the motives and emotions in his heart, believe it. When he allows junk to happen without an accompanying explanation, be content to live with mystery and hold on tight to what he has said about his motives and emotions. "I love you," he says. "I have good plans for you. I want you to become like me. I will carry you." (There's more--so much more! It's all there in his book!)

So now we're celebrating that my CA 125 number has dropped to 185. The first time after surgery that it hit this point was in February 2006 on the way down. It began to climb in April, and last October it hit 185 again on the way up. Chuck made a line graph for me; it looks like mountain climbing. It's beautiful to be on the downward slope once again. We must continue to embrace mystery: Why? How long? etc. Thankfully, God holds us tightly and wherever we are on the journey, it's okay. Medical science says a reading of 35 or below is "normal." Research indicates that a remission in my kind of cancer typically lasts 5 months. We pray for healing, and we trust God for grace in whatever he allows.

Another cool quote from Holtz: "When your back is against the wall and you know you have only one chance to win or lose, your senses become keener and your performance elevates." He was writing, of course, about football. It works in ordinary life too.

Today our Nassau friend meets a surgeon to discuss options following yesterday's PET scan. We're asking God to give them wisdom and peace of mind.

Keener senses! Life is terminal for all of us, so our backs really are "against the wall" and we have only one chance at life. Let's pay attention today.

Love,
Carol