More Good than Harm

I finished sleeping before we had to get up this morning, so I had a good time thinking. I came to the clear conclusion that thus far cancer has done me more good than harm. I may need to think this through more carefully, but for now I can give at least a few reasons:

Renewal of many almost-forgotten friendships

Enforced STOP, which has produced reflection, willingness to accept help, and repentance for the harm I have caused others through thoughtlessness, haste, and busyness

Ever-deepening relationships with Chuck, our daughters and their husbands, our grandchildren, and--may God permit--our new great-grandson who lives way too far away

Closer ties with my siblings and their spouses and with cousins

Multi-sensory appreciation of the lavish gifts of creation

Heightened awareness of the preciousness of each day and the gifts of grace it brings

Amazing fellowship of prayer--and stronger confidence that God answers prayer

Full Reliance On God (sometimes I wonder whether I trusted Him at all before cancer!)

Personal concern of hundreds of busy people in our mission around the world

More compassion in my heart for others who are suffering

Thankfulness for body gifts (breathing, sight, hearing, touch, movement, taste, etc.) which I used to take for granted

I'm sure there are other ways to grow in these areas but for me, apparently, cancer has been the school of choice. I'm not in denial. I know I'm going to die some day--of cancer or something else (unless Jesus comes back for all of us) and death is never pretty. But I'm convinced that God, Who has given so many gifts during this journey through cancer, also has a room full of gifts that are appropriate for the time of death. Although inexpressible joy is waiting on the other side of death, I want and plan to live longer on this earth first, God willing.

We received a somewhat clear explanation of the discrepancy in numbers from the CA 125 test. It appears that we were correct in thinking that the lower count (50.3) was relevant to the earlier test, and therefore reflects a slight drop. Our research shows tht CA 125 is not a very steady test, but in any case we'd rather have it going down than up. The oncologist wants it to drop below 15 before we can claim a remission. We all take it as a miracle that the kemo isn't doing more damage.

Thanks, as always, for your love and prayers.
Carol