Carol Wilson Update

Stage 4 Cancer brought many challenges--and also a host of loving and praying friends. Almost-daily postings to this site are to help my friends walk with me through this journey, and to express my gratitude to them and especially to God...On 7/8/08 Carol passed through that final curtain of death and is now healed. We thank God for her life and "arrival"! Chuck

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Life healed and whole

After a few hours of sleep I awoke and decided it was better to get up and read a bit rather than try to turn off my mind when it was so active. With all of the activities these past few days, I got a little behind in my daily reading so this is a good chance to catch up and fill my mind with some new thoughts. I am aware how easy it is be focused on my life without Carol and forget the joy and completeness that she is experiencing. It sure is easy to be self-centered!

I visited a friend yesterday who is having a huge struggle with cancer. His wife had called me regarding Hospice, so we talked about their services and the blessing that they were for Carol and me. I pray often for friends fighting cancer…Jim, Joe, John, Bob and Fran who is recovering from surgery and dealing with radiation. Do join me in praying for them and their families. Each of them is standing firm in their battle, but it is not an easy road to travel.

Reading in the first chapter of 1 Peter today, a couple thoughts from The Message thrilled me. Peter says; “Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all--life healed and whole.” What a blessing to have that hope which is certain. I look forward to that Day when we are all healed and whole!

Might your day be filled with unexpected joy as together we await that Day.

Love to you all,

Chuck

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Blessed by friends

What a blessing and encouragement friends are!

Earlier in the week when Michigan friends stopped in for a visit, I had a delightful time. There was a lot of laughter and a few tears, but a tremendous blessing to share our joys, concerns and even laments together. My thoughts have been filled with memories of our time together both this week and in earlier years. This morning I am sipping coffee from a mug presented to me along with other mementos from friends when we moved from Michigan nearly 13 years ago. Aren't memories wonderful?

Last evening I had two couples in for dinner to celebrate the birthday of a dear friend. They were most gracious in complimenting me on my cooking, even if the main course was not perfect. But I will continue to work on my cooking skills which are very much lacking. We enjoyed lots of conversation and brushed up on our game skills with a round of Chicken-Legs (Dominoes).

This morning a couple are coming in from South Carolina to go with me to Sunday School to enjoy Teacher Tom's study of 1 Samuel 24-31. After which, we will drive to the mountains to attend a concert by a pianist that Carol and I have enjoyed many times over the years. It will be one of those truly Southern presentations with Clogging and the whole bit. Predictions are for a beautiful day in the 70's and the leaves should be in their prime or near-prime beauty.

My reading of A Sacred Sorrow is also an encouragement and blessing. Author, Michael Card encourages his readers to meditate on specific Scriptures using what he refers to as the lectio divina or "divine reading" form. To quote him, "This ancient method of reading the Bible is more about connecting with God and less about straining to achieve a didactic understanding of the text." This method is designed to result in our lament culminating with the answer of; "You didn't fix me, You joined me!" Isn't that what we really need in each difficulty and for that matter on a moment by moment basis? Card says; "Lament is the path that takes us to the place where we discover that there is no complete answer to pain and suffering, only Presence." My mind is still processing that statement in an effort to fully experience it in my heart. I am blessed by you friends that are willing to join me in my lament as I adjust to a very different life without Carol.

Have a wonderful day with your loved ones.

Love,

Chuck

Thursday, October 23, 2008

A time to lament

I am reading A Sacred Sorrow by Michael Card, sub-titled Reaching Out to God in the Lost Language of Lament which was recommended by Karin and Keith’s pastor. At the same time my Daily Message readings have been in the book of Lamentations which makes a good combination.

The destruction of Jerusalem must have been a horrible sight. As Jeremiah reflects upon her past greatness and observes her total destruction…the end of beauty and activity, he cries out in a strong lament. Only memories remain. But there are memories of both the good and beauty of her past days along with the horrible sin and destruction of the city and the people. I like Jeremiah’s reminder; “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23) He continues in verses 24-25; “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him. The Lord is good to those who hope in him, to the one who seeks him.”

I am continually experiencing that goodness as I make this transition and adjustments to a life without Carol. In his book, Michael Card frequently refers to God’s hesed, an untranslatable Hebrew word which is often translated loving-kindness. Because of His hesed, we can and actually need to lament, but not despair. Card says; “…lament and despair are polar opposites. Lament is the deepest, most costly demonstration of belief in God. Despair is the ultimate manifestation of the total denial the He exists.”

Today I am excited about having dear Michigan friends coming for a visit. I can guarantee that this evening will not be a lonely one. The house will be filled with conversation and laughter. I am so thankful for a wonderful family and friends that continue to encourage me!

Have a blessed day!

Chuck

Saturday, October 18, 2008

A song of challenge

I trust that this has been a good week for each of you dear friends. Many of you have asked, but for those of you who did not, the cake was a success according to those who sampled it. I was way out of my comfort zone, but now I am ready to take another small step forward and try some other simple recipes. Any Suggestions? This old dog is a slow learner.

The other night when I was wakeful, some of the words of a song which I have not heard for a long time popped into my mind and I had to look it up in the morning to recall each verse. They have been in my thoughts ever since:

May the mind of Christ my Savior live in me from day to day,
By His love and power controlling all I do and say.
May the Word of God dwell richly in my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph only through His power.
May the peace of God my Father rule my life in everything,
That I may be calm to comfort sick and sorrowing.
May the love of Jesus fill me as the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing, this is victory
May His beauty rest upon me as I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel, seeing only Him.


I cannot think of a better prayer for my life today then those short five verses of May the Mind of Christ My Savior. I especially like the progression of the verses with the final reminder that we are only a channel for others to see Him. It reminds me of the words of John the Baptist when referring to Jesus, he said; “He must increase, I must decrease.” Can you imagine what this world would look like if each of us lived that way?

Much to think about as I do some of the needed tasks around the house today.

Love to you all,

Chuck

Sunday, October 12, 2008

God's Plans

I am often amazed at how my reading in Bible and in The Daily Message speaks directly to the thoughts that I have been having and encourages me. Saturday was a beautiful day and a busy one for me. It started early with the washing of the exterior of the house and removing the mildew that likes to accumulate during the year. When that was done, I did a major cleaning of the garage and then some trimming of shrubs and weed removal. My neighbor Keith was also working hard in his yard, so we would take a brief break from time to time to encourage each other.

Later in the evening, Keith called to invite me to come for dinner today and when I asked what I could bring, he remarked about the special cake that Carol had made when we invited them over shortly after them moved here about a year ago. That got my grey cells activated, and I am going to attempt to make one of those special cakes to take with me later today. Certainly it will not be as perfect as what Carol would have made, but I am going to give it a try. If it is a flop, our trash is picked up tomorrow.

As tired as I was when I went to bed I expected a long sleep, but for some reason about four hours was my limit, so I had plenty of time to read. That is good too…I keep telling myself. Continuing my reading in Jeremiah, I was especially interested in the words that God gave him for the exiles in Babylon;

“As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out —- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you a future and hope for,

When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.

When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.

Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed”


That sure was not assurance of an instant response to their desire to return, but it carried an even more important message of His love and care during their time in a foreign land. A good reminder for me. My desire for a quick adjustment is not part of His plan, but He will take care of me and not abandon me if I continue to walk with Him. What more could I ask for?

I trust that your Sunday is a special time of meeting with Him and with the family of God.

Love to you all,

Chuck

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Strength for the future

It was a wonderful trip back home with my Charlotte friends. I had the opportunity to join them for their family birthday celebration in another Indiana city, held in a barn, and then stay in that barn overnight. This was not your typical barn. There was a large “fun” area with basketball, exercise equipment and a very generous area for seating guests for the meal. Each of the rooms was filled with interesting antiques, many from their family, and comfortable bedrooms with quaint baths. Each room was accented by walls of barn siding from several different barns in the area. There was a lovely fireplace with a barn-beam mantle in the gathering room with interesting Amish furniture inviting us to sit and enjoy the visit….What fun! The drive home yesterday was outstanding with wonderful fellowship, beautiful weather, and brilliant colors in the mountains as the trees are preparing to shed their leaves shortly.

I have been somewhat out of touch with the recent news these past few days but did catch a few brief reports about the economy and managed to watch a small portion of the debate last evening before heading to bed. The words of Jeremiah which I have currently been reading, ring loudly in my ears;

“LORD, you are my strength and fortress, my refuge in the day of trouble!” (16:19a)

“This is what the LORD says: ‘Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans and turn their hearts away from the LORD. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, on the salty flats where no one lives.

“But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence.”
(17:5-7)

Three months ago today, Carol was rapidly approaching that final curtain which she passed through at 11:38 pm. While the pain and loss are ever present, I am striving to deepen my trust and walk with the Lord each day. I recognize that it was so easy for me to turn to Carol instead of the Lord, placing a ‘trust’ in her when it should have been in Him…Thank you Father, for each glimpse of truth to which you open my heart and mind!

Thanks for all of you encouragement and support. I am blessed!

Love,

Chuck

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Thankfulness

Our connection here at the lake house is extremely slow, so I will attempt to send a brief message for all of you who so faithfully check.

The trip here was uneventfull, just a long nearly twelve hours of driving. I connected with my Charlotte friends here and they and Karin and family went to dinner together at a restaurant on the lake. After that I was ready for bed. I got a good sleep and we are now awaiting daughter Sue and husband Jeff any minute arriving from Michigan.

Recently reading Indeed, I had a good reminder when I read; "The Christian life is to be a joyful life; the Bible makes that clear...Thankfulness is to dominate over discontent in our thinking." Looking at a half filled glass, the point was to focus upon the half that is full rather than the empty half. Good advise for me these days.

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement, and to those who called me during my drive to make sure I was awake and doing well. You are all appreciated!

Love,

Chuck

Our connection here at the lake house is extremely slow, so I will attempt to send a brief message to all of you who so faithfully check.