Arrived Safely

My drive to the lake house was without event. Traffic did not seem to be increased with the upcoming Labor Day weekend, for which I was thankful. A bit of fog and a light shower in the Virginia mountains, but actually no problem. I drove through Dayton at the time the Republican Vice President was announced, but other than a couple Washington DC vehicles I saw on the road, most were parked for the event.

I was pleased to find our young swans now about three quarters the size of their parents. They are still grey, but likely will be all white by the time I get up here the next time.

Talking with Stuart, I learned that his brother died last night and that they anticipate the funeral will be on Monday. Do pray for the family and for those who will be traveling.

I am always humbled by your phone calls and prayers as I cover the many miles. Thanks so very much!

Love to you all,

Chuck

Distress

The Apostle Paul writes about the distress that the Corinthians experienced from a rather blunt letter that he had written them. As I read about their response, I desire to have the same response to difficulties that come my way. Even one of the greatest, the loss of dear Carol to cancer. Paul writes;

“You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from him. The result was all gain, no loss.”

“Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from GOD are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.”

“And now, isn’t it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God? You’re more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you’ve come out of this with purity of heart.” (2 Corinthians 7:9-11 – The Message)

Now that was quite a response from a letter. I trust that I will learn to respond to every word of correction or difficult situation in my life in the same manner. Yes, my response is my responsibility!

On Friday I plan to drive to our Indiana lake house to spend the long Labor Day weekend with family members that can join me there. After which I will head to Michigan to order a grave marker and spend time with family and friends in that area. It is always a great blessing to be with the family and catch up on their lives. Phone calls and emails are fine, but they just do not compare to being together.

Speaking of blessings, we have been blessed with heavy rains. Over six inches in the past two days, and still raining. One weather report said that this is the most rain during a 24 hour period that Charlotte has received since 2004. This should help to replenish our water levels. Thank you Lord!

And thank you Lord for family and friends that continue to faithfully pray and keep in contact with me. May I keep in mind that I am blessed to be a blessing.

Love to you all,

Chuck

Healing Counsel

“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before we know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 The Message)

The Apostle Paul, describes my experience so well. When a counselor from Hospice called recently to check on me, I was delighted to be able to report to her about my progress and what God has been teaching me through my daily time in His Word and in prayer. It has also been a blessing to have the opportunity to be available to others, both friends and strangers, who contact me about challenges they are facing. It is clear to me that I not only need healing counsel, but it is important to be available to pass it on as requests are shared.

Along with my reading in 2 Corinthians, I have also been reading the Psalms. The following seemed to parallel my Corinthians reading:

“I love GOD because he listened to me,
listened as I begged for mercy.
He listened so intently
as I laid out my case before him…”

“GOD is gracious – it is he who makes things right,
our most compassionate GOD…”

“I said to myself, ‘Relax and rest.
GOD has showered you with blessings.
Soul, you’ve been rescued from death;
Eye, you’ve been rescued from tears;
And you, Foot, were kept from stumbling.’”

“What can I give back to GOD,
for the blessings he’s poured out on me?
I’ll lift high the cup of salvation – a toast to GOD!
I’ll pray in the name of GOD;
I’ll complete what I promised GOD I’d do,
and I’ll do it together with his people.
When they arrive at the gates of death,
GOD welcomes those who love him.
Oh, GOD, here I am, your servant,
your faithful servant: set me free for your service!” (Excerpts-Psalm 116)

The Apostle Paul and I close with this desire: “May all gifts and benefits that come from God our Father and the Master Jesus Christ, be yours!” (2 Corinthians 1:2 The Message)

Enjoy His blessings today!

Love to you all,

Chuck

Cleaning Day

Weekends seem to often be an extra challenge for me. Carol and I often did special things together then, and frankly I just am not as motivated to do things alone now. I have to give myself a little nudge to get moving.

It was just two months ago yesterday that I drove Carol home from attending Justin and Laura’s wedding in Michigan. We had picked up our conversion van at the lake house and it has sat idly by here ever since. It had a bit of dust accumulation when we picked it up after being stored for eight months, and the trip added more accumulation of dirt. So today I gave it a complete wash job and waxed it along with doing some house cleaning.

I listened to several radio programs, one of which was a lady telling about how the Lord had healed her very serious case of pancreatic cancer. For a quick moment I wanted to ask: Why not Carol? But then I realized that Carol is the one that is really healed! I thanked God for that healing and for the healing that He is providing for me also. It is a huge adjustment, but God is filling that void in most amazing ways, often using His people to encourage me. Just a few moments ago, a neighbor boy dropped off a hot meal for me that his mother had just prepared. Yes, it is difficult, but I am blessed!

Last night was not one of my better nights for sleep. I awoke at 2:00 am and read for two or three hours. My mind keeps going back to the leaders that followed one after the other in the book of 2 Chronicles. Several started well, but then power and success seemed to turn their trust in God to trusting their own or others abilities, and they made some dreadful mistakes. Some repented, asked God’s forgiveness, made an about turn with their lives and finished their lives well. Others lives in the end were a disaster. Earlier in the book, the Lord made it clear what He expected when he responded to Solomon’s prayer in 7:14 “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin…”

Lord thank you for the opportunities to humbly seek your face as I continue down this road of life. Keep me sensitive to, and repentant of each sin that creeps into my life. May my life be used to glorify you!

I am looking forward to meeting tomorrow with our wonderful class and teacher Tom as we learn more about identifying “respectable sins” that can creep into our lives.

Have a blessed weekend!

Love,

Chuck

Hallelujah!

Six weeks ago yesterday, Carol was in her last hours on this earth, and later in the evening she passed through that curtain, entering eternity with no more infusions or dealing with cancer. Suddenly old things all passed away and everything was new and beautiful for her. I often think about something she wrote in her last weeks; “Thinking back on my life, I am filled with love and gratitude for you. Thank you for allowing me to share in your lives – I have treasured our time together. Cling to Jesus. I’ll see you on the other side of the curtain.” I too have been blessed by all of you and look forward to joining Carol and loved ones on the other side. Each day the grief of her loss is very real, but at the same time the reality of the Lord's presence is more real and healing. Oh there are those "down" times, but as I am open to Him, He faithfully comes along side and provides the encouragement or guidance needed for the moment.

Recently as I was reading Psalm 111 in The Message it really spoke to my heart:

“Hallelujah!
I give thanks to GOD with everything I’ve got –
Wherever good people gather, and in the congregation.
GOD’s works are so great, worth
A lifetime of study – endless enjoyment!
Splendor and beauty mark his craft;
His generosity never gives out.
His miracles are his memorial –
This GOD of Grace, this GOD of Love.
He gave food to those who fear him,
He remembered to keep his ancient promise.
He proved to his people that he could do what he said:
Hand them the nations on a platter—a gift!
He manufactures truth and justice;
All his products are guaranteed to last—
Never out-of-date, never obsolete, rust-proof.
All that he makes and does is honest and true:
He paid a ransom for his people,
He ordered his Covenant kept forever.
He’s so personal and holy, worthy of our respect.
The good life begins in the fear of GOD—
Do that and you’ll know the blessing of GOD.
His Hallelujah last forever!”

As I read that, I was thrilled to think that Carol is enjoying His presence now…That is something to look forward to. Hallelujah!

Love to you all,

Chuck

Finishing Well

I am taking advantage of this beautiful 70’s weather on Saturday to enjoy the patio with many birds and butterflies flitting by. The humming birds are frequenting the feeders and a young cardinal is screaming at its mother for food while she stands by watching and as she chirps at him. I suspect she may be saying; “kid you are old enough to start hustling your own groceries.” The laundry is started and many things await my attention, but it seems that the priority at the moment is to spend some time feeding my mind and soul as I enjoy this morning after a busy week.

Continuing my daily reading in The Chronicles, I have been reading chapters 22-24 today, and am reminded of Carol’s desire to finish well. King Ahaziah was killed and his equally wicked mother, Athaliah assumed the role of Queen, massacring all of the royal family with the exception of infant Joash who was hidden away for six years. At the age of seven and after the violent death of Queen Athaliah, Joash was made king.

Under the teaching and training of Jehoiada the priest, it is written; “Joash did what pleased GOD throughout Jehoiada’s lifetime.” Later we read; “But after the death of Jehoiada things fell apart.” During that time the Spirit of God moved Zachariah the priest to speak up; “Why have you deliberately walked away from GOD’s commandments? You can’t live this way! If you walk out on GOD, he’ll walk out on you.” Bottom line was that he turned a deaf ear, the Aramean troops attacked Joash, he was left badly wounded and his own servants finished him off. I believe that Joash was about 47 at the time of his death…in the prime of his life.

As I recall my mid-life years (and later), I remember many opportunities to walk away from God and am thankful for his grace, mercy and yes, even forgiveness. Joash got so angry with Jehoiada that he actually gave the order to have him murdered. I was thinking about the contrast in the reception that each of them received when they passed through that curtain of death. I would not want to be Joash!

As we have been studying “respectable sins” in Tom’s class, I am again reminded that all sin is sin in the eye of God. That reality hopefully affects my response to every suggestion or impulse throughout each day…Lord, help me to be obedient to your Spirit today, that I might finish well today and during the balance of this life!

The ankle/foot are much better. Thanks for praying!

My Love to you all,

Chuck

God's deep love

Thanks for praying. While my ankle is still quite sore and swollen, my foot is back to normal and my temperature is gone. I still have no idea what could have caused the problem. Several have suggested a spider bite while working in the yard?

I have been appreciating God's deep love during this new aloneness. I miss Carol more than I could imagine, but at the same time I am experiencing a new closeness to the Lord and sensing a greater awareness of His Holy Spirit. Your prayers are being answered!

Psalm 107 (The Message version) seems to describe my life during the weeks since Carol's passing:

"Some of you set sail in big ships:
you put to sea to do business in faraway ports.
Out at sea you saw GOD in action,
saw his breathtaking ways with the ocean:
With a word he called up the wind --
an ocean storm, towering waves!
You shot high in the sky, then the bottom dropped out:
your hearts were stuck in your throats.
You were spun like a top, you reeled like a drunk,
you didn't know which end was up.
Then you called out to GOD in your desperate condition:
he got you out in the nick of time.
He quieted the wind down to a whisper,
put a muzzle on all the big waves.
And you were so glad when the storm died down,
and he led you safely back to harbor.
So thank GOD for his marvelous love,
for his miracle mercy to the children he loves.
Lift high you praises when the people assemble,
shout Hallelujah when the elders meet!" (vs. 23-32)

"Good people see this and are glad:
bad people are speechless, stopped in their tracks.
If you are really wise, you'll think this over --
it's time you appreciated GOD's love." (vs. 42-43)

My love to you all,

Chuck

Choices

Yesterday morning, I led devotions/prayers at the office. Earlier in the morning I read the daily reading in Indeed, which caused me to change my topic. The title was Constant Change. The writer referred to Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 with a focus on verse 1 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun.”

He said that Solomon, the likely writer, had “...seen emptiness and futility. And apart from God, he has seen meaninglessness. If there is no God, if no after life, if no hidden hope that we cannot see, then there’s no point to any of this life that we’re living.” He continued; “In our lives, there will be unfruitful seasons. There will be times of discouragement and even despair. There will be pointless tasks and intractable conflict. Interspersed with all the joys of the human experience...”

That brought my thoughts to Moses when he reviewed the Covenant with the Israelites prior to his death, and concluded dealing with life is our choice. He said “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, that you and your descendants might live! Choose to love the LORD your God and to obey him and commit yourself to him.” (Deuteronomy 30:19-20)

I am finding that so true in my life This is not a fun time/adjustment, but I have a choice how I handle it. Whether here or overseas we have to deal with unpleasant things. How we respond is our choice. As one of my former pastors would say; "my response is my responsibility."

For some strange reason I have developed a very painful ankle, and do not know what I did to cause it. I did quite a bit of yard work Saturday but was not aware of hurting it. I am watching it, taking pain killers and using ice to cool it to hopefully reduce the swelling. A good opportunity to exercise choice and not let it get me down.

Thanks for your prayers.

Love,

Chuck

One month ago

One month ago today at 11:38 pm, standing around Carol’s bed, we witnessed her spirit depart in a nanosecond, as she took her last breath on this earth; a time of both joy and sadness for us. Joyfully we thought about her passing through that curtain to meet her Lord and Savior, and being reunited with friends and family members that preceded her. Sadly we continue to deal with the tremendous hole that she leaves in each of our lives.

The Daily Message has been precious to me. 1 Corinthians 12-14, reminds me of Carol and the Lord working through her life as she faithfully studied His word each day. The following are a few quotes from those chapters that spoke to me:

“What I want to talk about now is the various ways God’s Spirit gets worked into our lives. This is complex and often misunderstood...God wants us to use our intelligence, to seek to understand as well as we can...God’s various gifts are handed out everywhere; but they all originate in God’s Spirit...Each person is given something to do that shows who God is; everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits.”

“I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less. A body isn’t just a single part blown up into something huge. It’s all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together...But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of.”

“The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together...every part dependent on every other part...If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.”

We have been blessed by the body, especially during the last 2 ½ years fighting Carol’s cancer and now being without her. It is a difficult time, but I am continually blessed by you! In chapter 13 we read; “Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying...will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.”

Life's opportunities here are now over for Carol, but like Carol, I continue to prepare and look forward to that day when we are together again on the other side of that curtain of death. No more sickness, no more separation...Plenty of good thoughts for me to fill those spare moments during this new day.

Enjoy the opportunities of this new day, being a vital part of His body.

Love to you all,

Chuck

My good - His glory

This morning I need to share something I just completed reading in The Daily Message from 1 Corinthians 9 that challenged me and may also be a needed challenge for you;

"Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized - whoever. I didn't take their way of life. I kept my bearings in view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempt to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!...I'm giving it everything I've got! No sloppy living for me! I'm staying alert and in top condition."

The Apostle Paul then goes on to recall blessings from God that his people experienced but their unfortunate response. "But just experiencing God's wonder and grace didn't seem to mean much--most of them were defeated by temptations...God was not pleased." And then his challenge spoke directly to me; "Don't be so naive and self-confident. You're not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it's useless. Cultivate god-confidence."

That is my challenge today, and down the road. The loss of Carol is huge. Was I guilty of placing too much confidence in her plus my own abilities and failing to cultivate complete God-confidence? As painful as it is, I continue to see God working for my good and for His glory.

Enjoy your service for Him today!

Love,

Chuck

How can I say thanks?

After a very busy weekend, hundreds of hugs, many reminders from years past, and over 1,500 miles of driving, I am back home. I have to admit that returning to what has been our home for the past twelve plus years, generated both a joy and a sadness. The house is so empty without Carol, but at the same time it is so full of wonderful memories and the excitement of knowing that very soon we shall be together again in an absolutely perfect location with Jesus, and among those we love.

The Lansing celebration had a slightly different flavor from the one in Charlotte, but I believe was just what Carol envisioned and honored our wonderful Lord. Many of that group have known us since childhood. Several were in attendance when we were married, and many worked with us years ago. We even had several who traveled many miles to attend both celebrations. One dear friend told me; “The Charlotte celebration was so wonderful, that I just had to come to Lansing too.”

Again, I am indebted to so many that “made it happen.” Long time friends, Ross and Inky did a fantastic job organizing and coordinating the celebration with the help of many other friends. Mel and Verna did their usual outstanding job with the music, and our dear friend, Robin who was on stage numerous times with Carol, ministering at Winning Women conferences, drove in from Indiana to participate with the music. As I reflected on the weekend, the song My Tribute came to mind several times…”How can I say thanks for the things YOU have done for me/us…?” Truly, the Lord and our/his friends have been so good to us!

I had many hours to reflect as I drove to and from Michigan alone. I thought about the relationship Carol and I had with each other and with the Lord. Thankful for much done right, but at the same time wishing to have spent more time appreciating each moment. A verse from Micah 6:8 came to mind. I learned it in the King James version, but I like The Message version:

“But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what GOD is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
Be compassionate and loyal in love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
Take God seriously.”

That sounds a lot like Carol’s life, and a goal that I want to keep in mind as I continue to walk this winding road of life without her, but with the One who will stay closer to me than a brother.

Not being the writer that Carol was, I will not attempt to keep a daily blog going any longer, but will try to add a few comments on occasion, hopefully weekly, to keep this history available for those of you that have told me how helpful it has been to be able to review its 2 1/2 years of a walk with cancer.

Thanks so much for your strategic part in our lives. We look forward to seeing you on the other side of that curtain.

Love,

Chuck

Burial

Thanks for praying. About 20 family members were at Deepdale Cemetery for the burial yesterday. A first for me to lead something like this, but it seemed to be what the Lord was telling me to do. I talked about the impact that Carol had on so many around the world, how she was intentional in her life, prepared to pass through that curtain of death, and how she made that transition in complete peace as we stood by her bed. After a few hesitations when my emotions surfaced, I concluded with a quote from Carol which was likely the last thing she wrote to be printed on the reverse side of a small card with the painting by daughter Sue, Into the Light that was distributed at both celebrations:

Thinking back on my life, I am filled with love and gratitude for you. Thank you for allowing me to share in your lives - I have treasured our time together. Cling to Jesus. I'll see you on the other side of the curtain. I love you, Carol

Thanks for praying!

Love,

Chuck